4 Tips on How to Manage Fussy Children During Portrait Session
/Fussy children during your photo session can be stressful. I have 3 children of my own; I get it! And, they’re all boys- which seems to be more difficult to convince them that family photos are important. Now, I must admit that these are not fool proof tips and there are some children that are unbreakable, but they do work most of the time and are always worth a try.
Tip #1
Be Empathetic: Some children start the session with strong emotions, and that’s okay. You have protected your children and taught them stranger danger since they were born and now you expect them to perform for a stranger. As your Batavia, N.Y. photographer, I try to put myself in the shoes of your little ones. I read their body language and develop a plan based on the energy they are giving me. Maybe they are hugging your leg and hiding. This shows me they are a little shy and probably a little nervous. Maybe they are clutching you and crying. This tells me that I am not to be trusted just yet and must earn it. I must show them that I am not here to cause them any harm. These two things tell me that bringing out the camera right away is not the best idea if I want to win them over. They need time. They need time to assess the situation and get comfortable with their surroundings. Never push if your children are not ready. Be patient and they will come around. If you know your child requires extra time, make that known to your photographer so that they can give you ample time. This is also why I tell parents to never let their child(ren) fall asleep in the car on the way to a session. Could you imagine falling asleep in one place and waking up in another, meeting a new person in a location you’ve never been, AND you are expected to put on your best face?! That’s going to be a negative for me.
Tip #2
Give them a break: Your children have feelings just like you and me. The only difference is they haven’t been afforded the full experience on how to manage those emotions just yet. Maybe they started off their session strong but about 15 minutes in they just aren’t having it anymore- Give them a moment. Allow them to have a snack or a little drink. Give them some time to gather their emotions and bring them back when they’re ready. A good family photographer will also be able to pick-up on these cues and should be able to change it up to create a set-up that will be more appealing to your little one: This might be throwing them in the air, giving them some tickles, standing and walking, allowing your child to run or jump, etc. Kids are unpredictable and we need to be able to adapt to their needs.
Tip #3
Positive words: I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of times I’ve told parents that yelling at your children will not work to correct their behavior during a session. In fact, I’ve physically seen a child get worse because of it. Why? Your child is having a moment and needs that time to process it. Yelling at them actually shuts them down and makes them even more upset. Not to mention, it embarrasses them in front of a new person. If you have ever worked with me, you have probably heard me tell your children that they are doing a great job and how amazing they are, and that I appreciate them for doing a job well done. I always tell parents that if your child is not harming anyone or themselves, all play and silliness is okay with me! I get inspired by your children. Do I like children who follow directions well? Of course! But I also love those free-spirited children who force me to get creative.
I remember becoming a parent for the 1st time. I loved seeing the world through his eyes. It’s a perspective I’ve seen before but was lost in my growth. Give me that with your children, too.
Tip #4
Embrace it: Sometimes kids just have bad days- Adults do, too! They just don’t know how to, as my SIL is told often, “fix their face”. In this situation I just say to embrace it. This stage of their life won’t last forever, so it’s important we document who they are in that moment, and if that means RBF, then that’s what we get. Another option is to literally embrace them! Hold them close with their face away from the camera and just give them all the love. Even though you can’t see their face, your love will still shine through by a simple snuggle. These offer a more emotive style session and can leave you feeling excited to share this sweet moment with the world just as much as an image with their smiling face.
And that concludes my list. I hope you found it helpful. If you have any other tips that you have used and work well, I’d love to hear from you!